Jumping into Summer!

Watch Out, JPD!!

MPD's working hard to be just like YOU!

It's Not You, It's Me

If you are my Facebook friend, and you've noticed my recent absence, I must tell you that it's nothing personal. I would never un-friend you, I promise. Someone did that to me once and it caused me a ridiculous amount of angst. (I'm over it.) I would, however, un-friend Facebook. And a couple of weeks ago, in order to step back and ponder the drug that is Facebook, I deactivated my account.

It's the "in" thing to do, apparently, since there's even an official "Quit Facebook Day" quickly approaching. Recently I've come across articles about detoxing from Facebook all over the place. Privacy concerns seem to be paramount, but to me it's more personal than just data (which, of course, can be quite personal).

I've been in the habit of posting links on FB to articles that I find interesting. Often--not always--when I do so, I have a particular FB friend or group of friends in mind, who I think would enjoy the link, hate the link, laugh at the link with me, or react in some predictable way or another. I've recently figured out the hard way, though, that all my other FB friends see those links too. (Duh!) And I don't know about you, but my FB friends are a wonderfully diverse group. Someone I haven't seem since childhood, for example, could easily take one of those links the wrong way, if I intended it for my fellow forty-something Catholic mom friends, or vice-versa.

I'd been thinking of FB as a big party, where I got to see everybody I ever knew in my whole life all together in one place. "Share the love!" I thought. And share I did--whatever was on my mind. Now I wish I'd been a bit more circumspect, because at least one of the links I posted seems to have hurt someone's feelings.

See, the thing about FB is that there's no context for discussion. You can't sit down and hash things out over a cup of coffee. You can't roll your eyes when you say something tongue-in-cheek. You can't see when the other person is starting to frown, and quickly reorganize your point. You can't even know who's "listening" to your conversation! And all that sets up a perfect storm of potential for hurt feelings, which isn't what I intended when I signed up for FB, at all.

This is, I suppose, what everyone's talking about when they decry social media and how it has impacted contemporary communication and our relationships. Of course it's much easier to type something bold, brash, and hurtful than it is to say it to someone's face. Even though a FB profile isn't anonymous, it can only provide a one-dimensional perspective of someone, which can hardly represent the whole person.

All that's not to say that FB isn't worth doing. Sure, it's fun. The best part is finding old friends, some of whom I never thought I'd find again, ever! So cool! And regardless of whatever overanalyzing anyone does about how social media are changing "kids today," there's no turning back the clock. It's the new reality. As I've just learned, the key thing with FB is to treat FB friends with just as much care as real-life friends, because, after all, they're just as real.

The Holy Father gives us bloggers and Facebookers his blessing, calling on Christians to

"utilize the new technologies of communication in a positive way and to realize the great potential of these means to build up bonds of friendship and solidarity that can contribute to a better world"

and appealing for cyberspace to be a place that promotes a

"culture of respect, dialogue and authentic friendship where the values of truth, harmony and understanding can flourish."

Yeah, that's it. What he said. :) As always, he's got it just right. If only I'd followed his words in the first place! But I don't suppose he has time to help solve the data privacy issues?!

Piano Recital

What a whirlwind of end-of-year activities we're having...is it summertime yet? :)
So proud of our piano virtuosos!!

Our Field Trip, by JPD

"Today Mom, MPD, and I went to the Veterans' Museum. It was so cool. We saw a parachute guy, a real helicopter with a soldier leaning out with his gun, an airplane painted with gills like a fish, a bi-plane, a tank, a cannon, cannonballs, a piece of the Berlin wall, army boots, a camouflage army uniform, Civil War stuff, a real periscope from a submarine, a model of an aircraft carrier with 17 planes on it, and an army jeep. The cannonballs were so heavy I could barely lift them but I am strong.

"When I grow up I want to be an army guy because I love the army so much. Because you can drive a plane and you get to paratroop. Army guys have to be brave and strong and always look out for bullets coming toward them.

"My Grandpa was a real airplane army guy pilot in World War II. His plane got shot down behind enemy lines in Germany. He hid and escaped in the woods. When I grow up I want to be a hero like him."







More from JPD (now on a roll after describing our field trip)...
"On the way home from the museum we saw a real jeep that was painted army color in the McDonald's parking lot [where Mommy was getting a Diet Coke--ed.]. Then we got home and I watched some movies of real paratroopers on Mommy's computer.

"I had a dream that I went into the army and then I trained by sliding on a hook off a giant building. Then I ran so fast because people were trying to kick me to make me run fast and then it was even worse--people were parachuting on me everywhere and I had to run away so fast!

"I had a dream that I went to the Veterans' Museum and I was a statue. I was hanging up on the ceiling because I was parachuting out of a helicopter and every night we ate at night because we had to stay up and be statues all day. Then there were hundreds of bad guys in the Veterans' Museum and all in the Capitol and even more all over the whole United States and the whole world. My friend Dillon and I killed them all and we became very famous."

Learning Fair!

When it comes to over-analyzing and second-guessing my decisions about the kids' school, I am the worst. But tonight we went to the end-of-year Learning Fair at their sweet little Catholic school, and I am thrilled with how this year has gone. We toured their classrooms, saw lots of their work on display, and enjoyed a lively concert by all the students.







And the best thing I've heard in a while? KLD--for the first time ever--said this: "Mom, I love school!" How can I argue with that? :)

May 20, 1985

Today is 25 years since my dad died, at my age--43. We knew about his kidney cancer for about 10 months or so before we lost him to it. I was 18 and had just finished my freshman year at the University of Texas at the time. I have never written or talked about that time, because I've never really had a lot to say. (I still don't, but bear with me--ha!)

I think it's strange that my memories of his last days and his funeral are so blurry. I can't remember if I saw him just before he died, or a few days before, or a week before. I'm pretty sure I saw him still in the hospital, after he died, with a red rose in his hands, clasped across his chest. To tell you the truth, I can't remember feeling anything other than "so this is how it ended up." I must have been numb.

I was numb for the funeral, too--people tell me that seeing my brother and I stoically walking hand-in-hand down the aisle was almost creepy, because of our apparent lack of emotion. But at the time, I was just doing what I thought was the "proper" behavior at one's dad's funeral (I was, and am, quite into being proper--I can't help it!). Sobbing in front of everyone just wasn't my way of dealing with the situation, and Keith followed along, as was his way. I didn't cry at all about it for a long time; I don't know why.

I believe that our life events and circumstances provide the forge that God uses to mold, shape, and carve us into the beings He has planned for us to be. He does bring great good from great sadness, after all. Sometimes it's easy to drive yourself crazy trying to analyze His divine plans. It's taking me a lifetime to stop analyzing, and just live! But my dad's death was certainly a pivotal point in both my brother's and my faith journeys, if you go in for such concepts as "faith journeys." After that year, Keith and I both developed into extremely fervent Christians.

I can't speak for Keith, but to me, when confronted with something so profound as the early loss of my father, I was struck once and for all with the totality of my powerlessness. We are not in control, after all. Until then, I'd been pretty much focused on carving out my own contribution to the world, working hard to build my resume and climb the ladder of earthly achievement. In other words, I was a totally selfish teenager, as my dad would have been first in line to tell you. But when he died, all of that began to seem like a waste of time. My world view changed in favor of things that are more deeply relevant--relationships, not my resume. And since then I've never once believed that I could control my own life. If God was so obviously in charge of when and how our lives end, I figured, how could we really do anything at all without Him?

I've seen this go the other way, you know. My mom and my grandmother both had a spiritual response to my dad's death that was the polar opposite of mine and Keith's. They became angry with God, and my mom, at least, has never been able to trust Him since. To tell you the truth, it is one of the greatest sadnesses of my life that now, with her disability, she can't understand things about God in any way but a very childlike one. Of course, that's exactly how He wants us to know Him, though, isn't it?

Twenty-five years after the fact, when I try to remember clear details about my father's wake/viewing and funeral, they just don't come. I have flashes--riding in the limosine past the chemical plant where he worked for his whole life, that hand-holding walk with my brother, what I was wearing (of course), reaching out the limo window for a hug from my childhood neighbor, whom I hadn't seen in years--but I'd expect to remember much more than I do. Other memories, of things much less important from the same time period, are much crisper, and I can't imagine why that would be. Perhaps the fact that there have been several other very similar family funerals at the exact same funeral home, with burials just a few yards from my father's, with many of the very same people attending, has blurred those 1985 memories. I am scared, humbled, and saddened by the fact that one or two more of those family funerals are looming in the not-too-distant-at-all future.

Not to be over-the-top dramatic or trite about it, but I really think that my dad's death was when I started--just started, of course--to grow out of my selfish, spoiled teenage self. And perhaps that is a very small part of the good that God brought out of that young death. In a tiny way, maybe, my dad died for me, in that way. Perhaps he (God? My dad?) knew there was no other way to snap me out of it! And now, after twenty-five years, I see my dad every day, of course, in the five precious little faces and souls that take after him in so many ways. I know that he sees them too, and he is so proud.

Ave Maria!

This week we got to continue our May tradition of hiking up to the gorgeous hilltop with the teeny Marian chapel at the top. What a beautiful day and what a beautiful place!





My friend E and her adorable daughter AM came with us. Here MPD and AM are carefully inspecting a caterpillar, who was desperately trying to get away from them.

Attention Husbands! Now Read This!

Who hasn't wondered at St. Paul's words in Ephesians (5:22), "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord."? I used to think "Really? Who, me? But he doesn't know my husband" (just kidding, Bill, I promise!)!
But seriously--I never could really 'get' that verse. I figured it was so First Century.

It wasn't until I understood the Catholic teaching on this chapter and verse (and it's critical to consider the whole chapter, of course) that I began to understand. And, like most of those seemingly mysogynistic Church teachings, it turns out to actually be good news for women! :)

I just read a great summary of this in Christopher West's book, "Good News about Sex & Marriage." In case you don't have a copy handy, I'll share...

"While we must admit that some men throughout history have pointed to this Scripture verse to justify their fallen desire to dominate women, St. Paul is in no way justifying such an attitude. He knows it to be a result of sin (see Gal 3:16), which is why in this passage he's actually restoring God's original plan before sin. He does so by pointing out what marriage was all about in the first place. It was meant to foreshadow the marriage of Christ and the Church. ...

"He starts by calling both husbands and wives to be subject to one another "out of reverence for Christ" (v.21)... In the analogy, the husband represents Christ, and the wife represents the Church. So, he says as the Church is subject to Christ, so should wives also be subject to their husbands (v.24)."

As in all Biblical interpretations, the crux of the understanding comes in the translation between languages. Here, consider submission:

"Sub" means "under, and "mission" means 'to be sent forth with the authority to perform a specific service.' Wives, then, are called to put themselves "under" the "mission" of their husbands.

"What's the mission of the husbands? "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her" (v.25). How did Christ love the Church? He died for her. Christ said he came "not to be served but to serve," and to lay down his life for his Bride (Mt. 20:28).

"What, then, does it mean for a wife to 'submit' to her husband? It means let your husband serve you. Put yourself under his mission to love you as Christ loved the church.".

I don't know about you, but I'm not feeling too oppressed by this kind of submission. It sounds pretty good to me!
(And Bill, would you please pick me up some Diet Coke on your way home?)

Like Fire in Fog

"You should not worry too much about adversities. The world is not as powerful as it seems to be; its strength is strictly limited... Know, my daughter, that if your soul is filled with the fire of My pure love, then all difficulties dissipate like fog before the sun's rays and dare not touch the soul. All adversaries are afraid to start a quarrel with such a soul, because they sense that it is stronger than the whole world."

~ The words of Jesus in St. Faustina's Diary

Friday Quick Takes

Joining Jen at Conversion Diary for Quick Takes Friday.

This week's Quick Takes involve me sharing my Mommy wisdom. Here are seven things I wish I could tell my 31-year-old self, when I embarked on my parenting journey.

~ 1 ~
Don't worry too much about any one phase the kids are going through. Nothing lasts more than three or four months anyway.

~ 2 ~
Less stuff. Really. Especially toys.

~ 3 ~
No TV. (We hardly watch TV at all.) No candy (except on special holidays). TV and candy are pretty much the same thing.

~ 4 ~
Set the breakfast table, unload the dishwasher, and lay out everyone's clothes the night before.

~ 5 ~
Resist the urge to sign them up for so many activities.

~ 6 ~
Homeschool from the beginning.

~ 7 ~
Relax. Don't over-analyze parenting. Don't fanatically read every parenting book you can find. Don't stress. Just love, enjoy, and cherish every minute with your sweet babies. Life is short.

And so are my Quick Takes this week! Hooray! :)

Feast of the Ascension

(Tiny) artwork from Michael D. O'Brien

"The meaning of Christ's Ascension expresses our belief that in Christ the humanity that we all share has entered into the inner life of God in a new and hitherto unheard of way. It means that man has found an everlasting place in God."
It would be a mistake to interpret the Ascension as "the temporary absence of God from the world." Rather, "we go to heaven to the extent that we go to Jesus Christ and enter into him."
Heaven is a person: "Jesus himself is what we call 'heaven.'"
~ Pope Benedict XVI

And so, the Easter season comes to its glorious conclusion. Up He goes, and now we wait in joyful hope for His return.

Next up is one of my very favorite feasts: Pentecost. Jen's got a favorite Novena for preparing for Pentecost here. All I can say is that the Holy Spirit is totally real, totally here, and totally amazing. I love celebrating His arrival!

Also, Erin's got some interesting thoughts about Ascension here. I'm truly not in the mood to assume I know better than anyone else, on anything--certainly not any Bishops or Priests--but as usual, she's got an interesting perspective.

So Many Worlds, So Little Time

Does anyone not love The Chronicles of Narnia? I think my favorite scene in all the books is from the Magician's Nephew, the world-between-the-worlds full of an infinite number of magic pools. Jumping into any one of the pools leads Polly and Digory to a different world, and their adventures go from there.
I love the book, but I always thought it was a pity that they didn't get to try out more of the pools. Imagine the possibilities!

And just lately, I've been thinking about those pools when I come across new blogs, or, especially, gatherings of interesting blogs like Elizabeth Esther's Saturday Evening Blog Post roundup or Jen Fulwiler's Friday Quick Takes. So many great blogs! Such an amazing, intimate peek into other people's lives! It is so cool to read someone's blog and feel like you've just had a cup of coffee, getting to know them. This digital age of ours is an amazing thing, no?

Here are a few fascinating blogs I've stumbled upon recently:
Joy in this Journey - Joy's courageous struggle with the loss of her dear daughter.
Making Home - this one is sweet--really interesting young lady
11 on my Own - Large family mothering, single-mom style.
Large Family Mothering - now THAT's a big family, and a really fascinating blog, I think.

I think there are a few more and I'll add them later when I think of them. Yes, I need to get a life. I know. I'll do so...any minute now.

Existential Crisis - A Haiku

When I'm feeling blue
In an existential way
I mop my kitchen.

Beautiful!

Happy Mother's Day

...to my dear Mom.
Mom, I love you so much and I am so glad you are up here in the frozen arctic Midwest with us! I promise I'll try my best to get you back to your beloved Texas someday, somehow!

Friday Quick Takes

Joining Jen at Conversion Diary for Quick Takes Friday!

~ 1 ~
MPD Update: What a big talking boy he is! He has really had a huge burst of talking lately. He can say everyone's name, including his own; he says what he wants for lunch; he says two- and even three-word sentences such as "bike ride park" and even "Mommy, wheah ah ooooo?" He's also big-time into somersaulting, which he does over and over, anywhere and everywhere. He learned how at his little gym class, and couldn't even do it at all a couple of weeks ago. He is so proud of himself!

~ 2 ~

JPD Update: Lately he's into aircraft in a big way. We are reading about planes and spaceships, and building all kinds of planes and spaceships. We love this book, which has lots of good models to build. Lots of really interesting, cool stuff! (Remember that reading curriculum? Not much progress, at all. Oh well!)

He asked me what I wanted him to be when he grows up.

"A happy grownup man who loves and obeys God, which is of course the way to have a happy life." (or something like that)

"But Mommy, what do you want me to be?"

"Well, JPD, there are lots of great, very interesting things to be." Then I listed some. "What are you thinking you might like to be?"

"Mom, I want to design airplanes." (Not Batman--go figure!)

"Well, JPD, that's called an aerospace engineer, and we can start on that right away."

Go JPD!! :)

~ 3 ~
After three years of hardly ever working out and eating pretty much everything in sight, I have decided that enough is enough. My physical condition has officially hit bottom. So this week I went back to the health club. About time, right?

I've been thinking about my three years of sloth, which I blamed on homeschooling (no time to work out, of course) and nursing MPD (too hard to leave him, ever), and then, more recently, H1N1 (can't leave MPD in the germ room with all those other kids, right?). These are all good reasons, don't you think? So did I. Great rationalizations, to be sure. I even got to thinking that it was vain and selfish to spend all that time working out; how could I be so 'narcissistic' and still be a good Catholic mom?

What a rationalization that was. Being a good Catholic mom (whatever that is) does not require me to look like an overweight middle-aged shrew. Not only that, I need to be healthy, and be around, and provide a good example for my children's health habits. I need to do a much better job of tending my "temple of the holy spirit."

So it's back to the health club for me. I'm clawing my way back. Just wait and see. :)

~ 4 ~
I have started serving dinner quite early most days, right after school around 4 p.m. or so. I cannot overstate my enthusiasm for this strategy; it is awesome. The kids are starving when they get home and will eat almost anything I put in front of them. We sit down and eat while discussing their school day, then get the kitchen cleaned up before heading out to soccer or gymnastics or whatever the evening's extracurricular activities are for the day. When we get home around 7 or so, they have yogurt or a banana or something like that.

This is so great because I have discovered that even when I plan dinner later, if I don't have dinner pretty much ready to go before 3 p.m., it becomes almost impossible to get it on the table. I am so tired at that time of day anyway, and it's total chaos of course at that witching hour of the day with everyone doing homework on the counter and table while I'm trying to work, MPD clinging to my legs (he only ever does this when I'm trying to cook), and JPD running around the neighborhood making new friends with everyone he can find--half the time I end up saving whatever I started making for the following day, and just heating up a pizza.

Now if we can just get Bill home for dinner by 4, my plan will be perfect. (Not, of course, if doing so involves him getting laid off from his job...)

~ 5 ~
Four more weeks of school! Can't wait for summer! WWD is so excited for middle school, and so am I. And for summer--we got the kids' swim team suits ($$$) and signed them up for junior golf ($$$$$!) this week. I love all these fun sports they do, and can't imagine which one I'd omit, but we are seriously scrutinizing our extracurriculars and realizing that, uh, we are spending a bloody fortune on them. Not sure what else to say about this, except I do think that their college tuition is a higher priority than summer tennis lessons or day camp. Junior golf--well, that one may be a toss-up.

~ 6 ~
Hey, I just finished reading another great book: The Geography of Bliss by Eric Weiner.
The author, an NPR correspondent, travels around the world to a handful of fascinating countries, literally searching for happiness. He scrutinizes the world's statistically happiest places, which are those you'd expect--Switzerland, for one--and those you wouldn't, like Iceland. He also visits the unhappiest country--Moldova. His journeys give a great flavor for all these different countries, and he actually does come up with some pithy discoveries about what actually makes happiness.
An example of his conclusions:

"Money matters, but less than we think and not in the way that we think. Family is important. So are friends. Envy is toxic. So is excessive thinking. Beaches are optional. Trust is not. Neither is gratitude."

Of all the countries, my favorite for sure was India. But the one I'd actually most like to visit--not sure why this isn't India, but still--is Bhutan. Of course, I'm just hoping for a summer vacation to a campsite somewhere in Wisconsin, but I can always dream, right?

What I really want to know is how one would go about getting such an assignment: Writing a book about happiness that requires about a year of traveling the globe to try to find and analyze said happiness. Now that's what I want to do when I grow up.

~ 7 ~
Our plans for Mother's Day this year are very small. Most of all, I want to sleep. My mom's not into it much either; we went out to lunch one day this week and called it Mother's Day, and I'm going to decorate her patio with some hanging basket flowers and bring the kids for a visit or an outing of some sort. Did I mention that most of all, I want to sleep?
Happy Mother's Day to all of you too!

P.S. Did you notice that my 'Quick Takes' are so not quick that they are longer than some of my standalone blog posts? Perhaps I should stop saving up everything for Friday? :) But next week--I'm going to try for very, very quick Quick Takes. Stay tuned!

Ten Thousand Reasons

“The difficulty of explaining ‘why I am a Catholic’ is that there are ten thousand reasons all amounting to one reason: that Catholicism is true.”

~ G. K. Chesterton

KLD's First Holy Communion, Take 2!!

Not one to do anything halfway, this past weekend KLD celebrated her second First Holy Communion. See, she couldn't decide whether to have it at our home parish, or with her friends at school. When they suggested we do both, we thought it was a great idea, because after all she loves both and couldn't imagine missing either.


KLD especially liked the idea--who could argue with two days of wearing the dress, two cakes, two celebrations, right?
Also, the two parishes organized the sacrament a bit differently, which was interesting. At our parish, the first communicants sat up in the first three rows together, and received Holy Communion all together, prior to everyone else. Parents were on their own. At our school parish, the first communicants had assigned pews up front with their parents, who received Our Lord together with their first communicant. Some people have strong opinions about which way is better; I like them both, actually. It was pretty fun to get to sit in the very front row with Bill--alphabetical order, I think--because I kept imagining it was her wedding! :)
Don't grow up too fast, KLD!

And do you recognize anyone up in the choir balcony? :)
How about here?
Ah, yes, family pictures.
"My forehead! It's so huge!" said dad.
"Eeek! I look like my mother!" said mom.
Sigh....at least the kids still look cute! :)

And last but not least, I had to get this sweet one of KLD, St. Bernadette-like, with the beautiful Our Lady of Lourdes grotto.
God bless our sweet KLD! Again! :)