My neighbors think I'm nuts. Again and again it seems that my children are the ones taking out the garbage, watching their little brothers, helping in the yard, helping clean out the garage, or shoveling snow out of the driveway (they've yet to complete the driveway alone, though). The neighbor kids, at least, think our kids have it pretty bad over here!
I promise you that there's more going on with this than just Bill & I taking advantage of slave labor--well, most of the time, anyway!
My parenting philosophy is all about chores. I think chores--better than anything else I know--help develop responsibility and self-esteem for children. Also, as someone who made it to age 30 without so much as the ability to make pancakes, I don't want my kids to grow up as spoiled, self-centered, and inept-at-household-tasks as I did!
The esteemed John Rosemond is one of my parenting heroes. A proponent of super-traditional parenting, his books are full of wise anti-advice. (Anti-advice="Trust your own instincts. Parenting is easy.") From his book A Family of Value*, here are some reasons why chores are critical for kids:
1. Participation in the work of the family confirms the child as a valued member of the family. The more responsibility a child accepts, the more status he has in his parents' and siblings' eyes. With more responsibility comes more opportunity to participate in family decision-making and other grown-up stuff.
2. Chores help children internalize the principle of give-and-take, which is the centerpiece of every workable social contract and provides children with an understanding of social accountability. Each person in the family relies on each other person to pull his weight. This builds self-esteem, of course.
3. Chores enhance the value of the family to the child. They are a means of bonding the child to the values of the family. Just as contribution of time or effort to a local charity is evidence the contributor shares in and wants to support the values the charity represents, a child's contributions to his family cause the child to bond with the family's core values.
This is all related to having a big family, you know, although of course the principles work no matter how many kids you have. In a home with lots of siblings and a busy mom (me), it's impossible for me to over-coddle my kids or make things all about any one of them. And I really do need their help.
I'm always working to strike a balance with this, of course, because I love each of them beyond belief with every fiber of my being and I would love to spoil them to death just for fun, but just like giving them nutritious food instead of candy all day, I have to parent according to my principles and not what just feels good, right?!? So...my guys are bringing in the empty garbage cans and clearing the breakfast dishes and supervising their siblings. It's all part of being a family, I say.
Plus then I get to blog while they're unloading the dishwasher, right? :) JUST KIDDING...
*If you want to check out just one book by John Rosemond, I recommend New Parent Power, which combines a couple of his other books and presents his core ideas quite thoroughly.
John 6:48-69
48"I am the bread of life. 49Your ancestors ate the manna in the wilderness, and they died. 50This is the bread that comes down from heaven, so that one may eat of it and not die. 51I am the living bread that came down from heaven. Whoever eats of this bread will live forever; and the bread that I will give for the life of the world is my flesh.” 52The Jews then disputed among themselves, saying, “How can this man give us his flesh to eat?” 53So Jesus said to them, “Very truly, I tell you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. 54Those who eat my flesh and drink my blood have eternal life, and I will raise them up on the last day; 55for my flesh is true food and my blood is true drink. 56Those who eat my flesh and drink my blood abide in me, and I in them. 57Just as the living Father sent me, and I live because of the Father, so whoever eats me will live because of me. 58This is the bread that came down from heaven, not like that which your ancestors ate, and they died. But the one who eats this bread will live forever.” 59He said these things while he was teaching in the synagogue at Capernaum.
60When many of his disciples heard it, they said, “This teaching is difficult; who can accept it?” 61But Jesus, being aware that his disciples were complaining about it, said to them, “Does this offend you? 62Then what if you were to see the Son of Man ascending to where he was before? 63It is the spirit that gives life; the flesh is useless. The words that I have spoken to you are spirit and life. 64But among you there are some who do not believe.” For Jesus knew from the first who were the ones that did not believe, and who was the one that would betray him. 65And he said, “For this reason I have told you that no one can come to me unless it is granted by the Father.” 66Because of this many of his disciples turned back and no longer went about with him. 67So Jesus asked the twelve, “Do you also wish to go away?” 68Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom can we go? You have the words of eternal life. 69We have come to believe and know that you are the Holy One of God.”
"You are in for a treat: 'To know him is to love him.' Therefore it is a joy for me to offer you this encounter with the relatively obscure man whose quiet, steady progression in holiness across a long lifetime let him, at age seventy-seven, suddenly become one of the twentieth century's most important figures. 'The Good Pope,'' as even nonbelievers called him, was the catalyst for great changes in the Church and called the world back from the brink of nuclear disaster, among other notable things. There is much for your soul to feed on between these covers, and yet there is still more to say about this saint for our times than I can squeeze in. Look for more books from me on John!"
Patricia Treece opens her delightful biography of Blessed John XXIII this way, and I have to say that I agree with her assessment of her subject. This modern-day man of such inspiring holiness lived through most of the twentieth century, with all its struggles and fast-paced technological advances, and not only greatly increased in personal holiness but left a tremendous legacy--to the Church and to the world--as well.
I had a hard time choosing a book to review this time around for the Catholic Company book reviewer program. Following a bit of prayer for the Holy Spirit's guidance in my selection, I felt led to choose Patricia Treece's "Meet John XXIII - Joyful Pope and Father to All ." And wouldn't you know it: I couldn't have been more pleased--and spiritually inspired--by this book. Not only was it fascinating to read about how Angelo Roncalli's life unfolded along the path to the Holy See as John XXIII, but Treece's biography is also so well written that it is--no kidding--a page turner.
My favorite thing about this book was definitely John XXIII himself. It is impossible not to like this man, who was both very holy and a very nice person. Reading about the first half of the twentieth century in southeastern Europe was also fascinating from a historical perspective. Finally, the story of John XXIII gave me some new insight into the objectives and mission of Vatican II at its outset, as well as just the smallest peek into the factors that pulled the Council in very different directions.
My only frustration with this book was that I wanted to know more, particularly about the perspective of John's critics. I guess I'll be watching for Treece's next book about him!
Want to get in on the book review fun? Check out the Catholic Company's great reviewer program!
I always say that JPD must have a whole battalion of guardian angels, and tonight I think they worked a bit of overtime. He almost burned down the house!
He was up late, not going to bed, running around the house being naughty, and when I went up to re-tuck him in after cleaning up the kitchen, I smelled a bad burning smell. I looked around and saw smoke coming from the lamp on top of his dresser. Turns out he thought it would be a good idea to put a big ole flashlight on top of the lamp (which was on)!
The heat from the light bulb had melted the flashlight which was all melty and burny and awful!! I totally freaked out and still am! Here's the melted flashlight and blackened-with-melted-plastic light bulb. Strangely, the lamp itself remained unscathed.
Honestly I think this has been our worst close call ever. Thank you, God, for sending me upstairs at that moment to check on him!
"All-powerful and ever-living God: You raised the sinless Virgin Mary, mother of your Son, body and soul, to the glory of heaven. May we see heaven as our final goal and come to share her glory."
For more Quick Takes, check out Jen's great blog!
~ 1 ~
We are buying a new house! We found the perfect one, decided (after much intense prayer and soul-searching) to go for it, and found out Tuesday morning that we got it. We will close on September 30. If I have my way, this would be our "forever" house (Do you hear God laughing? I don't know why I ever even bother to think in terms of "my way" for things! God...Thy Will Be Done, of course!!)!
~ 2 ~
One day this week (actually two!), I got up at 5:30 with MPD, then instead of falling back asleep after nursing him (my usual procedure!), I stayed up. I went for a long walk, ran to the grocery store at 7:00 to pick up a couple of things we needed, made breakfast, and took all the kids to Mass by 8:15 (okay, we were a bit late for Mass I must admit). Why, why, why don't I do this every day?
~ 3 ~
Pictures from KLD's Hawaiian birthday extravaganza are finally up! Check them out here!
~ 4 ~
We did a major closet clean-out. For those of you who enjoyed the organized garage in this post, I took some pictures. :)
(Sorry, no 'before' pictures.)
~ 5 ~
Our summer is really winding down now. I have been so looking forward to this week, when swim team and all of our other activities have ended and we have some down time for two or three weeks before school starts. But...I should have known...this week has been kinda awful! The kids are all fighting with each other from sunup to sundown. Summer is always too short for me, and fall, although fun, is bittersweet with winter looming behind. But this year I'm starting to think..."Hello, back-to-school!"
~ 6 ~
I am so proud of JPD! After his big training-wheels-off achievement a week ago, the very next day he jumped off the diving board without a moment's hesitation. All summer he's been refusing to do it, then at KLD's party he just ran right off the end of the board without stopping. Showing off for the big 2nd grade girls, don't you think? :) But anyway, the very next day after that, he made it all the way across the monkey bars! I wish I could do that!! 
~ 7 ~
Remember back in June when I said that I was looking forward to finishing up our homeschool curriculum over the summer? Well...yeah, right. We haven't. We've done math, like, one day. The thing is, MRD and WWD's reading teacher to-be assigned them a hefty load of summer reading and writing that took all our would-be school time this entire summer. They just finished today (better than the night before the first day of school, right?).
You know, I am all for summer reading, of course, but around here these guys have a whole bunch of their own reading that they were looking forward to doing this summer. And I'm not talking about junk; in fact, I like my/our literature choices more than the teacher's. Also, the assignment was not extra credit, but required. Also, it was a lot--very hard for MRD, in particular, just in terms of volume of cursive written words. It was a six-paragraph, six-sentence-per-paragraph report on each of six books. After all that, plus piano practice, I didn't have the heart to make them do math as well. Our Wisconsin summers are just too short to stay inside enough for all that!
Also, of course, my independent homeschooling spirit just hates anyone else choosing what my kids are reading! Anyway, I'm so glad they are done. Now we have two weeks to proofread and edit before school begins. And also to go outside to enjoy the sunshine!
Here are two good zucchini recipes that I used for JPD's monster zucchini: Rich Squash Casserole (in the crock pot!) and Summertime Zucchini Soup. And here is what I learned while making them: For the soup, they're not kidding about a little garlic going a long way. And watch the pepper--I put too much in ours. I served it over noodles--yummy, MPD and I thought.
The second thing is when working with a ginormous squash such as this one, the teeny tiny, hardly noticeable seeds that zucchini usually have, become giant and hard--closely resembling pumpkin seeds. So do scrape them out first. You might also consider skinning a giant zucchini, because the skin is much tougher on a papa bear zucchini too.
This one is from one of our favorite trips to Texas in August 2005. My four oldest (who are not so old here) are with me, my mom, and my grandmother. My grandmother is now 97 years old and doing well.
“We can try to limit suffering, to fight against it, but we cannot eliminate it. It is when we attempt to avoid suffering by withdrawing from anything that might involve hurt, when we try to spare ourselves the effort and pain of pursuing truth, love, and goodness that we drift into a life of emptiness, in which there may be almost no pain, but the dark sensation of meaninglessness and abandonment is all the greater. It is not by sidestepping or fleeing from suffering that we are healed, but rather by our capacity for accepting it, maturing through it, and finding meaning through union with Christ who suffered with infinite love.”
~ Pope Benedict XVI, "Spe Salvi"
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